Me and Him. Together. Or well, we used to be. It's almost 7 years ago. My first true love.
We parted ways. I cried. I didn't want to. He wanted to be friends.
From time to time we met - as friends - and my heart was bleeding fiercely because he didn't want me, but I couldn't keep myself from wanting to see
Him again. And again.
He played the game. He made me feel like he wanted me back. Obviously, he didn't want to, and he didn't mean it either. He was just being nice. Always
super kind. Always super generous. Always super lovely. Always tearing my heart into pieces.
And he had no idea I was still in love with him. I think it hurt him a bit, too, when he found out. For me.
It dawned on me that I was fooling myself, and we stopped communicating at all, except for birthday messages. But my heart was always beating a tiny bit faster
when I saw his name on the phone display, and still is.
It's 7 years now. I should be over Him, right? I have a serious boyfriend of 3 years who I love very dearly.
But every time I see Him, it hits me like the first time. My heart yearns to see him and then bleeds, because there's no bloody point in seeing him at all.
We're friends. He wants to be friends. I want more.
How can you love two people equally? Or not so equally?
How can you love someone even after so many years?
Will I ever be able to get him out of my heart?
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Rach
09/03/09
Hey you, I also wondered where on earth you had gotten to :) I have also not been on here very frequently... its been a bit all over the show... I come here in bursts it seems. Things are ok, just living each day as it comes and trying to plan a little but not too much, writing is going well, things are ok wondering when the amazing times are coming... the highs are due I think... glad you are ok and still around will catch up with you another time I hope :) x
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Rach
08/16/09
I am spreading love to all my dearest friends today... I have been away for a little too long but I had to come and leave you each a message to let you know you are special, not only to me, to everyone you meet and everyone you know and even those you don't... may your tears be dried, your spirits be lifted and your hearts held warmly and your cheeks be caressed and blooming with the surge of love that will sweep over the site... I am so glad that I found you all here, you have each made my life more than I thought it could ever be and that goes for Jonny too. I thank him for leading me to you.
HUGS and LOVE to you. May we all enjoy our time with Jonny and watch him grow from strength to strength... together.
Rach
07/09/09
Rach
07/09/09
Rach
07/08/09
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